


The Baekchen Series

by LightningMcMiche



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: 'Intruder' AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School Reunion, Alternate Universe - Hitman and Murderer, Baek has his MAMA powers, Baek's a Hitman, Baek's a flirt, Baek's a really good friend, Baek's smooth, Baekchen Nation rise!, Characters being soft for each other, Dae's an angel, Dae's done but attracted, Dae's the new neighbour, English Lit Major!Baekhyun, Flashbacks and Memories, Fluff, Health before everything else guys, Idol struggles, Intruder!Baekhyun, Just get married pls, M/M, Meet-Cute, Minseok knows everything, Non-canon Idol Universe, One (1) hint of Chansoo, Physics Major!Jongdae, Sleep deprivation cuz Uni, Swearing, That's all I'm giving you for this AU, Underlying hints of romance, Wedding Planner!Jongdae, Writer!Dae, angst but not really, broke college students, fast food's really unhealthy, idol!baek, mention of leader!Suho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-08-24 03:43:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16632260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightningMcMiche/pseuds/LightningMcMiche
Summary: A bunch of drabbles/short fics featuring Baekhyun and Jongdae in a bunch of different universes, up to all kinds of shenanigans...and maybe a little bit of love along the way.





	1. Between Fast Food and Post-It Notes

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys~~ 
> 
> So this is the first fic that I've actually had the courage to post! But I love Baekchen, and I love writing, and I have two people who won't stop bothering me until I write - so this happened. (But thanks for forcing me guys.)
> 
> I hope you like it~~!

 

_[College/University AU]_

 

Jongdae didn’t care much for this job, but the hours were perfect, his co-workers weren’t terrible and more importantly, his pay was good enough for what was required.

What was worrying, however, was the reality that his job had opened his eyes up to. Most people could get over the intense unhealthiness that was fast food with the thought that they had no time or it tasted pretty good considering. Basically, excuses were easy enough to come up with.

But when you worked in a fast food place three hours every day, you came to realise that it was not fucking worth it.

And then there were those few characters who appeared nearly everyday for something or the other - and Jongdae got it, he really did. Broke-ass college students had no choice but to go for the cheap option...and taste-wise, who could fight fast food with the price range they could afford?

But it was ridiculous when all someone seemed to have was fast food.

When the red-head had first stepped into the joint, Jongdae hadn’t been working at the cashier - no, he’d been the one making the fries and had a direct view of the ridiculously cute guy in sweats and circular glasses. He’d also been in a jacket that was clearly too big for him, a black beanie on his head and a stack of books in one arm.

He’d ordered a strawberry shake with the excitement that only a probable 20-year old could muster, considering the dark circles under his eyes and stressed lines around them. And then he’d sat down at a booth with his shake and books, just perfectly enough for the light to hit his face at the perfect angle and create a soft red halo around his head from the reflection of his hair.

Jongdae’s physics-loving heart had never been this sold.

He’d nearly ended up burning the fries.

But over the past three weeks, Jongdae had seen this guy arrive for both lunch and dinner (of course, some information from when he didn’t have his shift - and the guy had become infamous as the red-head regular), doing some of his reading and writing and even sleeping at the booth he’d seemed to claim as his at this point. Jongdae thought he’d pretty much made his way through the entire menu, at least thrice, and wondered how anyone’s body could possibly withstand all of that.

And the signs were showing. Even if the guy couldn’t tell, Jongdae could. Although it wasn’t anything like malnourishment (thank god), his dark circles had gotten bigger. Of course, the lack of nourishing food couldn’t be the only reason; he’d probably been sleeping later. But he seemed to nod off faster whilst reading, looking more stressed than usual. Sometimes, his food would just be left half eaten, him having fallen asleep with his head resting against the window.

Jongdae (and many of the others too) had half a mind to tell him to stop coming, but of course they couldn’t do that - not if they wanted to be fired - to a steady source of income.

So Jongdae did the next best thing.

For the last five days now, whenever Jongdae happened to be on shift and got a chance, he ensured to drop by something like an anti-acidity tablet, or something like a precious food coupon to an actual fucking restaurant (because at this point, the guy definitely needed it more than Jongdae even if it was rare), or even hand-warmers, because it was getting freaking cold outside and - was this guy really this broke that he couldn’t even afford _gloves?_

Jongdae always left a post-it note on top of his books with a tiny message like ‘Take care!’ or ‘Eat healthier!’ and a small cat face squiggly, never signing his name. Minseok, a co-worker, had caught on rather quickly though, and thought he might as well sign his name considering the squiggly he drew.

Jongdae would however, prefer to remain silent. He didn’t know why he felt the compulsion to help this guy out, but he also didn’t want to be pseudo-responsible for someone’s death.

Minseok thought he had a crush, but what did he know?

The guy was cute, sure, but health was more important right now. Jongdae had inferred at this point, that the guy was a English Lit major, clearly, and was into romance novels. Which, okay, was pretty cute.

But health _first._

Jongdae was on cashier and order duty when the guy trudged up to the counter another time, looking half dead on his feet and like he really needed a hug. Jongdae’s heart reached out to the guy but the redhead simply blinked up at the menu screen he’d read probably a hundred times already now.

“I’ll uh -” He even sounded tired as he sighed. “Um, maybe a chicken burger today? And I’ll have a strawberry ice-cream too.”

Jongdae keyed the order in, and the guy started to pull out his wallet when Jongdae blurted out, “Um, it’s on the house.”

The guy paused, blinking up almost unbelieving at him, “I’m sorry?”

“It’s on the house,” Now that Jongdae had said it, there was no taking it back. But the more Jongdae looked and talked to this guy, he just felt worse and worse for him. But the redhead was now looking at him with an adorably confused look behind those circle glasses and coughed to explain, “Um, since you’re such a regular customer?”

He seemed to buy it, and shrugged, “Oh great.”

Jongdae paid for the guy’s meal with his own money without another word, and then as the two waited for the others to bring out his meal, Jongdae brought up idle conversation.

“Oh, um, are you a English Lit major then?”

The guy blinked in slight confusion, and Jongdae gestured towards the books in his hand. The other’s eyes lit up in that adorable excitement that Jongdae hadn’t seen since that first milkshake and he exclaimed, “Oh yeah, I am. It’s a great subject.” He held up the book - one Jongdae had definitely not seen before in his life. “We’re reading this right now, and I have to write a paper on this and it’s about a lady painter who’s in total conflict with how to paint a family and the family’s fucking nuts, and it’s such a difficult book to get through, but I love it -” He paused, the side of his lips curling in embarrassment when he took in Jongdae’s baffled expression, “And I’m rambling.”

Jongdae on the other hand...thought it was cute? He’d never really cared all that much about literature, but he could sit through this guy’s rambling and actually listen and want to contribute.

“Sorry, you lost me,” Jongdae admitted freely, letting out a shy laugh.

“Are you in Uni too?” The guy asked instead, and Jongdae nodded, “Why else would anyone be working here?”

“What’s your major?” The guy suddenly looked really alive, more so than how he had for the past few weeks, and well, Jongdae was taken aback by how much the guy was a self-luminous source.

“I’m a physics major,” He replied with a grin, but then suddenly the guy was leaning forward, forearms resting on the counter, “Aw, you’re totally one of those physics nerds.”

Just when Jongdae was about to pout that, okay, yes he was, but this guy seemed to be a lit nerd, so that’s a totally invalid argument, the guy added with an even cuter smile, “That’s cute.”

Jongdae had literally no time to respond, stunned into silence, as the guy’s eyes flashed behind him, and his food was arriving. He picked up his tray, shooting Jongdae a smile over his shoulder as turned, “I’m Baekhyun, by the way. Nice meeting you - ” His eyes flashed down for a second, towards the name tag pinned on his shirt, and then a charming grin, “ _Jongdae_.”

And then he was gone, sitting at his place near the window, looking just a bit brighter in the refracted light.

Later when he was gone, and Jongdae was walking past Baekhyun’s regular spot, he spotted a familiar blue post-it on the table. He paused, and then picked it up, only to blink in surprise.

 

_‘I knew it was you giving me all this stuff the past few days - your smile’s a giveaway._

_But thanks for being so sweet...and I get your point, so let’s get out of this place and actually get a meal sometime?_

_You can tell me all about your paper this time!_

_Baekhyun xxx’_

 

...Maybe Jongdae would take him up on that actually. At least Baekhyun would get a decent meal out of it. And maybe Jongdae would get a cute English Lit-obsessed boyfriend too.

 


	2. Between Wedding Planners and Talkative Intruders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jongdae just wants to eat his popcorn and drink his coffee in peace, thank you very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys~~
> 
> I'm so glad to see the response I got to my first chapter, I can't even put it in words! I honestly wasn't expecting such a great response, but this is just amazing. Thank you so much for all the kudos and for reading my work!
> 
> I hope you guys like the second one as well!
> 
> Lots of love,  
> Miche~

 

_[Intruder AU]_

 

Jongdae stepped into his flat, exhausted as he locked the door behind him. Placing his keys in the bowl on the counter of his shoe rack, he ran a tired hand through his hair.

Being a wedding planner was a pain - but at least today’s wedding was over, and the smiles and joy on couples’ faces were what made him tolerate all the hardships of his job.

As soon as his shoes were off, he trudged to the bedroom, slipping out of the suit jacket and then removing his square-rimmed glasses.

In the bathroom, post washing his face and finally freshening up, he stared at his reflection in the mirror and gave a grudging smile. Yeah, maybe he hated how hectic his job got closer to the wedding dates, and how bitchy the star couple got, or even their relatives heaven forbid - but it was all worth it in the end, if everyone was happy at the end of the day.

And today’s wedding had been an old school friend, so of course it was an even more personal event. _Even if_ he got sick of his friend telling him to bring a plus one like he just had someone lying around to bring.

Besides, what did the planner need a date for?

He returned to his bedroom, changing out of his dress shirt and pants into the first thing he could find in his drawers, not really caring. His dinosaur-printed pyjama pants and a plain t-shirt, back from his college years.

Although, putting it that way made him sound old - he’s only graduated two years ago, after all.

Jongdae paused in his movements, wondering what to do. He was tired and wanted to crash in bed - but he wasn’t sleepy. And being tired and sleepy were two _very_ different things.

So dragged his body to the kitchen, silently making a coffee as he threw a bag of popcorn in the microwave. Once the coffee was in a cup and the popcorn in a bowl, he sat down at his couch, about to turn on his tv when a voice came, “Sorry, but who the fuck eats popcorn when drinking coffee?”

The bowl of popcorn slipped from Jongdae’s grasp, and for a moment he wanted to cry at the mess on the floor because that meant more cleaning, and his _poor, precious popcorn_ \- but then there were more pressing matters at hand.

So instead, he picked up his coffee cup, and narrowed his eyes, “Who’s there?”

“Try and guess?”

Oh, so the intruder also happened to be a psycho. _Fantastic._

“How the fuck am I supposed to know?” Jongdae clenched his hand around the hot mug. The tiredness he was feeling literally two minutes ago seemed to have evaporated at the idea of having a trespasser. “Who the fuck are you?”

“And they said you were a _nice_ guy,” The voice chuckled, but it only freaked out Jongdae more. “But as I was saying, what’s up with the coffee and popcorn?”

“Where are you?” He glared at the general direction the voice was coming from. “Show yourself!”

“Do you have some kind of attachment to your coffee cup?” The voice asked, sounding genuinely curious. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a figure shimmered into existence, leaning against the door frame of the living room.

The brunette was in a leather jacket, black turtleneck, tight dark jeans to match. His hair was styled, and Jongdae could see a bluetooth in his ear. He grinned charmingly, “Hi.”

...Jongdae had to be imagining things.

Because his first thought was: fuck, okay, I’m gonna die.

Second? _‘At least he’s hot.’_

Neither were very useful if he wanted to get out safely, however - and so he did the first thing he could think of - he threw the coffee in his cup straight at the man.

But the man disappeared the same way he appeared, leaving the coffee to splatter on the carpet, staining it.

“That was mean,” The man’s voice came again, this time behind Jongdae, and he flinched, spinning around.

“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the _fuck_ ,” Jongdae felt like he was losing his mind. There was no way someone could appear and disappear. What was this - some kind of fairy tale? “What the fuck is going on?” His hands shook as he pointed at the man, “Who - what are you?! How did you get in my house?! Why are you here?!”

“Wow, you almost talk as much as me,” The man answered amusedly, now opening Jongdae’s fridge like it was his own. “And your house was easy to break into, thank you very much. I mean, we have our own homegrown teleporting - ” He cut himself off, flinching, “ - sorry Suho - ”

 _Meanwhile_ , what could Jongdae find that he could use as a weapon to defend himself with?

“Don’t even think about it, babe,” The man’s voice came again as he grinned at Jongdae. He paused in his speech for a second, as he looked at Jongdae up and down.

Suddenly - _oddly_ \- Jongdae felt like he should have picked a better outfit.

(Also - _babe? Excuse me?)_

“There’s no point in trying to hit me - you’ll have to find me first, and there’s no time for that.”

“What the hell are you talking about - ”

“Although when yours activate, you could be much stronger than me,” The man considered thoughtfully to himself.

Jongdae had enough, and shouted, “For fuck’s sake could you answer me?!”

“...Okay, so you’re _louder_ than me,” He said after a beat. “And whilst that’s useful to know, could you, maybe like, tone it down a bit, sweetheart? You have neighbors and this is supposed to be all _incognito_ , you know?” He had the audacity to wink.

“Okay, you know what?” Jongdae had reached his breaking point. “This isn’t real, is it? Yup, I must be dreaming.” He looked at the man who he was most definitely just imagining, “I’m going to bed - why am I even telling you - this is all just a figment of my imagination. Please disappear as you came. _Good night_.”

But suddenly, the man appeared in front of him, and Jongdae jumped back in shock. The man’s eyes were dark, but playful, entrancing, seductive - _shut up_ Jongdae, “Aw, but you can’t go, we have so many things to do together tonight.”

...Was that statement supposed to sound that sensual?

Jongdae rolled his eyes and walked past the imaginary person. He was definitely losing his mind.

He blamed it on the champagne at the wedding.

But then the man was grabbing Jongdae’s wrist, and Jongdae froze. The man shouldn’t have been able to touch him if he was imaginary -

The man smiled disarmingly, “Sorry, honey, but I’m gonna have to kidnap you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the second one in my series! Let me know what you guys think in the comments below~~! 
> 
> Question of the hour: Why do you guys think Baek's here to kidnap Dae in the first place?


	3. Between Silence and Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even in Jongdae's silence, Baekhyun hears the unspoken words that he struggles to voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys~~
> 
> Honestly I am so surprised at how much love this fic is receiving and I couldn't be any more grateful! Honestly, thank you so much for all the kudos and the comments I've received.
> 
> Speaking of. Yes, I've heard your requests, and yes, I shall make a part 2 to chap 2, I promise. However, it will take some time, so I shall release other drabbles whilst I work on that! When it does release, I'll make sure to title it or mention it such that you know it's part 2~!
> 
> Meanwhile, this one's quite sad, if not a hint bitter - but life comes in all shades and some days will be darker than others.

 

_[Idol Non-canon Universe]_

 

Baekhyun watched mutely from across the room, silent in one of his rarer moments.

Jongdae, leaning against the kitchen counter, absently staring out of the window, a coffee mug in his hand. The coffee had gone cold long ago - but Jongdae had not moved for the past five minutes, lost in his own head. The beginnings of a frown shadowed his face, eyes reflecting a quiet exhaustion.

“Hyung, can you _believe_ this?” Jongin’s voice called from the dining table next to the open kitchen.

It shattered Jongdae’s trance, and he blinked, placing his mug down on the counter. The look in his eyes changed, shielded and disappearing as it was replaced by a soft warmth. He came to stand behind Jongin’s chair, hands resting on the other’s shoulders.

“What is it, Jongin-ah?” He asked, voice ever so bright, flowing with an unsuppressed affection. His hands began massaging the younger’s shoulders, and instantly, the tension in Jongin’s body left him. Baekhyun knew personally how effective Jongdae’s massages were.

Jongin replied, something to do with a fan-cam of his performance from a few days ago, but Baekhyun wasn’t listening, paying much more attention to Jongdae’s mannerisms. His behaviour - so perfectly directed, planned, not an action misplaced.

At the end of the conversation, Jongdae ruffled Jongin’s hair, looking his happy self as he smiled at the younger. But Baekhyun didn’t miss the smallest frown that was back on his lips the second he’d turned away from Jongin.

Baekhyun continued watching Jongdae in silence. The other moved through the living room without another word.

The coffee was left deserted at the counter.

A few days later, Baekhyun caught the younger staring at himself in the mirror, face blank but eyes screaming. Baekhyun, who prided himself on understanding the other in and out, was shocked to see he couldn’t understand what that look meant and the words that were forming on his lips died in his throat.

Baekhyun stayed in the doorway unnoticed, and he chose not to break the silence Jongdae had created within the room.

Silence...wasn’t a word Baekhyun associated with Jongdae. There was sound in his footsteps, music in his whining, echo in his words, mischief in the curl of his lips.

Yes, he was soft, nurturing - it was why he got along with Kyungsoo, Minseok, Junmyeon so well - but sound?

Sound was in his _blood_.

Seeing him like this - it didn’t sit well with Baekhyun. Especially since he didn’t know why.

Jongdae’s hand came up to rest flatly against the mirror, and the frown on his face deepened.

Baekhyun couldn’t stand seeing him like this. And so he did what he was best at - “Jongdae-ah! I know you’re ugly, but praying to your reflection won’t help in the slightest!”

Jongdae jerked out of his thoughts, and he met Baekhyun’s eyes through the reflection. The unreadable look was gone in a flash, replaced by something Baekhyun could understand easily - joy.

“Baekhyunnie,” His voice was gentle, if not undoubtedly teasing, and Baekhyun prepared himself, “Are you speaking from experience?”

The rest of the evening, Jongdae didn’t look at the mirror once.

Baekhyun opened his eyes drowsily as the crick in his neck twinged painfully. He straightened in his seat, vision blurry. The car was silent on their way back from the program, and everyone (except for the driver - their manager) was asleep, too exhausted. It was like this often, when they came back from performances late at night.

Minseok had his head tilted against the glass, small sighs escaping his mouth as he breathed in his sleep. On Baekhyun’s other side -

Well.

It seemed everyone aside from _Jongdae_ was asleep.

The younger was still, the initial reason why Baekhyun had thought he was asleep too - but now Baekhyun could see it in his stiff posture against the backrest, the startling awakeness in the eyes of Jongdae’s reflection in the glass.

He was staring absently through the window once again, earphones plugged in. Baekhyun knew Jongdae was just as tired as all the others, in fact - but he’d been catching the other in these moments of quiet solitude far too often these days.

Shifting slightly in his seat (Jongdae didn’t even seem to _notice_ ), he hesitantly reached forward and then pulled on one of the other’s earphones and putting it in his own ear before Jongdae could even realise what had just happened.

“Baekhyun - ” Jongdae’s eyes were wide in shock when he finally caught on to what happened. But Baekhyun was more surprised because there was nothing playing on the earphones. The only thing that Baekhyun could feel was the heightening buzz of silence as outside noise was muted.

“There’s nothing playing?” Baekhyun whispered, confused.

Jongdae’s lower lip trembled for the briefest of a millisecond, eyes glazed over as he mumbled almost inaudibly, “Sometimes, the silence is the only way to hear yourself think.” But before Baekhyun could comment, the other silenced him with a tired smile, “Sorry, the playlist must’ve ended before I realised - and I did doze off in between. Anything you want to listen to in particular, Baek?”

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip, suddenly feeling his worry heighten. But he shook his head. Jongdae sighed, mumbling, “That’s not really like you.”

 _Says you_ , Baekhyun thought.

Ever since that night in the car, Baekhyun watched Jongdae even more closely. Every controlled smile, the longer dance and vocal practices after group practices, every tired sigh.

And then once, as Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, Jongin and Minseok were sat around Jongin’s laptop about to watch the official cam focuses of the individual members, and Kyungsoo called Jongdae over, Jongdae froze, and then shook his head, saying he was tired.

Baekhyun frowned. Jongdae was always looking for ways he could improve - and with all the practice he’d been doing recently, wasn’t it natural for him to want to watch the cam?

He got up after Jongdae disappeared into his room, and he turned to the others, “Guys, you watch, I’ll catch up later. I have to give someone a call.”

“Sure,” Kyungsoo replied a beat later, but he could tell he hadn't fooled him. Instead, Kyungsoo looked a bit concerned himself, as his eyes glanced quickly towards Jongdae’s room. “Go ahead.”

Baekhyun quickly moved out of the living room, making his way to Jongdae’s room and tapping on the door, “Dae?”

“...The door’s open!” Jongdae’s voice came a beat later, and Baekhyun came in. Jongdae was on lying on his back on top of his bed, tapping on his phone. “What’s up?”

“That’s what I came to ask you,” Baekhyun raised an eyebrow as he pushed Jongdae’s legs to the side lightly and took a seat. “You’re being...quiet.”

Jongdae stilled, and then laughed, “What?”

Baekhyun reached forward, knowing that Jongdae wouldn’t relent easily, and took his phone out of his hand, slipping it into his back pocket. It was a place that...well thinking about Jongdae trying to grab something from there made his face redden.

Baekhyun wasn’t oblivious to the tension between them, the lingering hands, stolen gazes through the practice room mirror...but it was an area he’d never dared to explore - never had the time to, nor the courage to. As idols, there were expectations, and there was no way he could -

“Yah! Ah wae?” Jongdae complained, but it was half-hearted at best, and Baekhyun was tired of it. Just so tired of seeing him like this.

“Just stop. Why are you pretending?” Baekhyun swallowed. He wanted to shout, but he wouldn’t. “You aren’t telling us the truth. What’s going on Jongdae?”

Jongdae turned serious in a second, lying back down and hiding his face in the crook of his elbow, “Baekhyun, please don’t.”

It was silent between them for a few second.

“I thought we shared everything, Dae,” Baekhyun’s voice was soft, if not a tad hurt.

“There are some things I can’t tell you, Baek,” Jongdae returned, voice heavy. “I - ”

“There’s nothing stopping you except for yourself,” Baekhyun pointed out. “You realise, if I was in your position and you were in mine, you would have made me talk?”

“...Baekhyun, how am I supposed to tell you all of this without worrying you?” Jongdae’s arm moved off his face, and he was now looking at the ceiling. “I - I’m _afraid,_ Baek.”

Baekhyun paused. Those weren’t words that usually came out of Jongdae’s mouth, and that made it all that more worrying.

“I’m already worried, Dae,” He returned. “And it might help to talk about it; you always say this to me. Come on, talk to me.”

“...Do you ever wonder how EXO would have been if even one of us wasn’t here?” He said a beat later.

Baekhyun grew alarmed, “What are you talking about?” He paused, “Is this about going to the military?”

“No,” Jongdae let out a bitter laugh. “No, but that’s just about another thing that’s added to the list.”

“I - what? Jongdae, I’m confused, you have to explain to me - ” Baekhyun was cut off as Jongdae sat up, folding his legs up so he could rest his chin on his knees. “Do you ever wonder if we’ll just pass like a phase, never leaving an impression?”

Jongdae hit the one chord that repeated itself in Baekhyun’s mind all the time. Wasn’t it what every singer feared? Never managing to leave an impression in life?

“Always,” Baekhyun replied softly.

Jongdae finally met his eyes, “Am I selfish? For wondering how I would have fared if I didn’t have EXO?” Baekhyun was silenced as Jongdae’s hands clenched on the bed-spread. “I - Baekhyun, I - would I even make a good solo artist? I’m only popular because _EXO’s_ popular. I hate thinking like this - but it’s true. It wouldn’t make a difference if I wasn’t a part of the group. Six years, Baekhyun but - your popularity, Kyungsoo’s popularity - I’m nothing next to that. It’s never easy. To be noticed, but not - ”

“Jongdae,” Baekhyun’s exhaled in shock. “That’s not _true_. Not at all. You - your voice - how could you say that?”

“I try so hard, Baekhyun,” He laughed bitterly. “I put all the efforts I can till my back aches and I can’t stand on my feet anymore - but it’s never enough. _I’m_ not good enough.”

“Jongdae, but your solo stuff already shines,” Baekhyun argued, and without another thought, grabbed Jongdae’s hand in his in comfort. “Your OSTs?”

Before Jongdae could argue back, Baekhyun continued, “You - do you know how special you are? You...Jongdae, I know I’m a great singer - but _you?_ I knew from the day we met at that audition that you were _meant_ to be a singer. You were born to be a singer - and you have the _soul_. And your solo work is popular. You’re crazy if you think you won’t be popular as a solo artist.”

“Baekhyun…”

Baekhyun’s jaw clenched, “And fuck the people who don’t support you - you have all of us, you have _me_. I won’t let you think like this, Jongdae.” He looked down, and then back up at him, “If there’s one person I’d have to bet my money on making an impact on this industry, I spend it all on _you_.”

Jongdae’s eyes watered, and then he was pulling Baekhyun into a hug. Baekhyun instantly returned it. There was a lot more Baekhyun could have said, but there weren’t enough words to express it, and they didn’t have the time for that either.

But he knew Jongdae understood, in the same way he got that Jongdae would take time to believe that he was loved.

And Baekhyun would be there for him the entire way.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is something that hasn't really been addressed in a lot of stories - and what really prompted me to write this drabble were the thoughts that came to my head when I saw the views on the Ooh La La La fancams that the SM Ent. channel on Youtube uploaded. I'm not elaborating on this, but I was really upset when I saw it, which is a shame considering all of the boys have performed so well.
> 
> On a separate note, the next update will be sometime next week probably~!


	4. Between Contract Killers and Unskilled Murderers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun really thinks his neighbour could use some tips on Murder 101, if he doesn't want to get caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys~!
> 
> It's been a while, and I've been in a slump about what to do for the next one. Luckily this came to me and then I was in a rush these past two days to make it happen.
> 
> Thanks for all the love and support!
> 
> Miche xx

 

_[Hitman-Murderer AU]_

 

Baekhyun knows exactly at what angle a bullet would hit the target, how to leave a hotel room without leaving any fingerprints, how many seconds a poison will take to sap the light out of the target’s eyes.

He knows it all like the back of his hand.

Most of all, he knows exactly what blood looks like.

And so when he comes out of his shower and happens to hear noise in the corridor outside that should be silent _because he has no neighbours_ , he carefully walks over to the door and peers out the peep-hole.

An unfamiliar man stands across the corridor in front of the only other flat on the floor, right opposite Baekhyun’s. His back is to Baekhyun’s doorway, so he doesn’t catch his face.

Baekhyun narrows his eyes.

He doesn’t have any neighbours, and he certainly hasn’t heard any news about someone moving in. And clearly the man has just shut the door, if the dark red stain around the door handle is anything to go by.

Baekhyun blinks in realization.

Someone had probably just been murdered in the flat across his.

“Shit,” The man’s voice is deep, but muffled through the door, and the man is then pulling out a clean handkerchief out of his pocket, only to wipe the blood off the handle. Baekhyun shoots a look towards the man’s right hand, which the man is now wiping off with the same cloth.

Baekhyun steps back from the door, shaking his head as he heads back into his room.

“What the fuck,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “That dumbass is gonna get caught faster than those dumb fucks who try to run from a bullet.”

Whatever. It isn’t his problem. If someone came to ask him questions, he’d manage to ward off suspicion - this flat was clean.

Besides, no matter how shitty the hitman...or _murderer_ (because no hitman is that dumb honestly) seems to be, it would be awfully rude of a hitman to rat out another guy like that.

 

* * *

 

It’s been two days.

The news never came out and neither did the police, and that’s when Baekhyun begins to wonder what had happened. He wonders if the murderer had ever come back to dispose off the body when he’d gone out on a hit yesterday, and concludes that it was likely the case.

It’s not like the corridor’s stinking from dead body odour - the ventilation in the building is fairly good. It’s why he can afford to keep strong chemicals in his storage room too.

And then as he’s entering the elevator to return home, one of the old nosy grandmothers living a few floors below his flat gets in.

“Baekhyun-ah,” She says affectionately, and he smiles back brightly. She’s a pain with her constant ‘get married, you don’t want to be single forever!’ and general nosiness, but she’s always nice. Ever since he helped her with her grocery bags, she stops to chat if they ever bump into each other. And she sends him cake.

“Grandma,” He returns. “How are you?”

“Oh, I’m perfectly fine!” She waves off, and she presses the button to her floor. “Have you had a chance to meet your neighbour yet?”

“No, not quite,” Baekhyun answers easily, but the gears in his mind are turning.

A new neighbour, huh?

Baekhyun has a suspicious feeling he knows exactly who is moving in.

“Oh, believe me, you’ll want to,” She hits him lightly on the shoulder, pointedly. “He’s a charming lad.”

“You’ve met him?”

“He had come to the building last night, moving some things in. I bumped into him when I was coming up the elevator - but shouldn’t you know this?” She narrows her eyes at him.

“I had some work yesterday!” Baekhyun pouts. “You know how my job is!”

To everyone else, Baekhyun is software engineer, often called to work at ungodly hours or whenever the hell the company called for him.

Which, obviously, isn’t true, but it serves the purpose.

The doors opens, and the grandma steps out. Much to Baekhyun’s surprise, when he gets off the elevator, the unfamiliar man is back in front of his own door, leaving this time too.

The man looks up to meet Baekhyun’s gaze and pauses.

Baekhyun has to admit. On a first glance, no one would believe the man is a murderer. The short stature, the thin figure, but the lean strength in his arms. The softness of his mouth, but the sharper cuts of his cheeks and jaw...the crinkle in the corners of his eyes, but the _eyes_.

The eyes are dark, like diving into a blackhole, like drowning - like he understood _pain_.

Baekhyun didn’t kill because he liked it either - it’d been something he’d had to do to get his mother out of the bad situation she’d ended up in, and after that the men who had initiated his first murder simply kept giving him more jobs.

It was all for nothing; a few days later his mother died from drug overdose and left him a murderer.

Not much made sense after his mother died - only the anger and hate. He became a full-fledged hitman because he’d no choice, and within three years, he’d killed the men that were holding it over his head. And Baekhyun hadn’t looked back.

But the blood rush is addictive - and it wasn’t like the entire thing hadn’t fucked with his regular life, and so he had no choice but to continue killing.

...Baekhyun hasn’t thought about his past in a long time, and it etches a frown into his expression.

The man across the corridor straightens, and then clears his throat. His voice is far more interesting when Baekhyun can actually hear it clearly, “Uh, hello. I’m Kim Jongdae, your new neighbour.”

Baekhyun swallows as he approaches his door and then nods at the other man, “Byun Baekhyun, welcome to the society. I’ll see you around, Jongdae.”

He shuts the door behind him before the other can respond.

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun’s not avoiding Jongdae more than he avoids any of the other building residents, but if it seems like it, it may be because Baekhyun thinks that they don’t need to interact more than necessary.

And it’s not like Baekhyun needs Jongdae, so.

That’s not to say he doesn’t see Jongdae after that first meeting however. For a murderer, Jongdae is more charming than even Baekhyun can manage, and he sees it in the way he makes all the grandmas in the building laugh, in the way he stops in front of the flower garden planted by the kids in the complex in the morning and gives a sigh and smile, in the way he always seem to be sadly humming the tune of Schindler’s List Theme beneath his breath.

Baekhyun wonders why Jongdae became a murderer in the first place.

Despite what Baekhyun might prefer, neighbours are bound to bump into one another at some point in the natural order of things.

Baekhyun is stepping out to go to the grocery store when Jongdae is exiting his flat too - and the other is dressed in black, a sports cap to match, with the a heavy looking duffle back in his hands.

“Hey,” He looks shocked to see Baekhyun, and Baekhyun wonders if he should just pretend like he isn’t seeing the not-so-covert fashion choice. “Um, nice to meet you again.”

“Uh, yeah,” Baekhyun replies oddly stumped, because is this guy for real? Or is he just unafraid of going to jail? “Going out?”

“Something like that,” Jongdae responds and Baekhyun resists the urge to smack some sense into his head, because that really is easy to decode. “You?”

“Grocery,” Baekhyun eyes the duffle again just because he may be a little bit curious. Jongdae raises an eyebrow, “You heading to that place down the corner?”

At Baekhyun’s nod, he offers, “Oh, let me drop you, I’m headed that way too!”

“You won’t kill me, will you?” Baekhyun blurts, if just to see Jongdae’s reaction.

Jongdae pauses and then gives a sharp laugh, “What reason do I have to kill you? Don’t be ridiculous.” His eyes sharpen, “Art is supposed to be eternal, you know?”

Baekhyun is now simultaneously experiencing revolt and an emotion he can’t place his finger on.

“Why do you look so shocked?” Jongdae chuckles and then makes his way over to the elevator to press the down button. Baekhyun shakes out of his stupor, locks his door and gets into the elevator with the other.

It’s silent as they both watch the number in the digital numbers change until Jongdae asks, “So how old are you?”

“Twenty six,” Baekhyun returns. Jongdae smiles. He has a pretty smile, now that Baekhyun is standing pretty close to him, “Oh, then we’re the same age!”

“I think we’re more similar than you think,” Baekhyun murmurs too quietly for the other to hear, if not a bit enigmatically. Jongdae’s eyes narrow, tilting his head as he asks, “What?”

Baekhyun meets his gaze.

But the doors open and the moment is shattered.

Baekhyun makes his way out of the elevator and sends Jongdae a small smile, “Thanks for the offer, but I’ll walk.”

Jongdae doesn’t comment, simply nods unbothered. The elevator takes Jongdae to the underground parking and Baekhyun turns around, heading out of the building.

The next time Baekhyun comes across Jongdae is after a hit job and Baekhyun really doesn’t want to be found. But as he arrives on his floor, Jongdae is unlocking his door and entering. His duffle bag is on his shoulder, a white cloth stained with dried red blood peeking out from where it’s stuck between the zipper at the end. Luckily the other seems not to notice his arrival as he enters the room.

Baekhyun is still shaking his head as he enters his own flat.

Jongdae is a walking disaster of a murderer.

 

* * *

 

For some reason, the last place Baekhyun expects to see Jongdae is in the cafe the next morning, and he doesn’t know why.

If Baekhyun, an expert hitman can come here, then why can’t the other?

But when Jongdae invites himself to sit down at Baekhyun’s table, Baekhyun raises his guard. Jongdae doesn’t know that Baekhyun is aware of his nightly activities, and that makes him all the more dangerous.

“Baekhyun,” His smile is charming as always. Baekhyun is hit by the way light reflects off the light shimmer of his cheekbones, cut straight from porcelain, and the way his eyes are always so haunted. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Neither did I,” Baekhyun smiles back. He doesn’t understand why Jongdae is trying so hard to be friends - you can’t have the privilege of them with what they do. “Do you come here often?”

“Only when I’m really tired,” Jongdae’s lips curl like he has a secret he hasn’t shared with Baekhyun. Only...Baekhyun does know. He saw him last night. “I...had a pretty difficult night.”

Now that Baekhyun was looking at him, he does see the tired lines in Jongdae’s face, and he wonders if Jongdae thinks killing is as tiring as he does. So he lets out a sigh, “I can imagine.”

Jongdae quirks an eyebrow like that statement amuses him, “Really now? But you don’t look a wink away from being framed in roses.”

“Sorry?” Baekhyun’s breath hitches, left a little breathless by how casually and smoothly Jongdae says these things, like it’s normal to admire your neighbour like this.

“Sorry, was that weird?” Jongdae sits back, leg folded over the other and stretches like a cat. His gaze is sharp on Baekhyun as he tilts his head. “I can’t help it. Your skin tone would look so good with the colour of red roses - or blood even. Blood has one of the prettiest colours, don’t you think?”

...But Baekhyun’s starting to think that either Jongdae is far more insane than he looks, or that he wants to kill Baekhyun.

“Like rubies,” The steam of Baekhyun’s coffee fogs over his glasses, and through the condensation, he sees Jongdae’s smile curl.

 

* * *

 

Maybe two weeks after Jongdae has moved in, they happen to catch the elevator together to go to their respective homes. Baekhyun has his back against the wall, not meeting Jongdae’s gaze even when he can feel the other’s eyes drifting back and forth between the numbers on the screen overhead and Baekhyun.

“Baekhyun,” Jongdae clears his throat, and Baekhyun straightens and looks up at the other. Jongdae’s smiling hesitantly, like he isn’t sure how to propose the question, “I was wondering - um, if you want to come over for dinner? We’re neighbours and it’s been a while since I’ve moved in so…” He’s quick to add, upon seeing Baekhyun’s blank face, “Only if you’re free though!”

Baekhyun tries to find evidence of anything suspiciousness in the man’s face, and finds none. His gut is churning because he knows he shouldn’t say yes, but he can’t help this feeling of wanting to anyway. He shouldn’t.

Before Baekhyun can answer, Jongdae grins like it’s an in-joke between them, “I promise not to kill you?”

But the joke kills the feeling in Baekhyun that had wanted to say ‘yes’ and Baekhyun clears his throat and tries for an apologetic look, “I would’ve loved to, Jongdae, but I’ve been called back to the office. I’ve got to pick up some things and leave again.”

Jongdae’s face falls, but he nods in understanding, “Maybe next time then.”

“Next time,” Baekhyun echoes, and it sounds too much like a promise to him. _When I have weapons to protect myself_ , he thinks.

But next time arrives perhaps way too soon for Baekhyun’s tastes - two days later, Baekhyun is about to step out of the house when his doorbell rings. Baekhyun’s not wrong to stiffen; he isn’t used to having guests - he doesn’t give out his address after all - and if it’s any residents in the building, he’s used to them calling out his name or ringing the bell twice.

When he peeks out of the hole and sees Jongdae standing on the other side, he’s not sure if should pretend to just not be at home.

Pros? He’d be able to avoid the other and whatever he wants to say. Con? He’s probably going to appear again a few days later if it’s something important.

It was best to get this over with.

Baekhyun opens the door and Jongdae is shuffling forward and backward on his feet, looking both hesitant and nervous. It’s different from what he’s seen from Jongdae before, taking that heaviness that usually lurks around the other away. Right now, Jongdae just looks soft, cute. And that thought is enough for Baekhyun to shake out of his stupor.

“Baekhyun,” Jongdae’s voice lilts. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Baekhyun answers. “What are you doing here?”

“I made dinner at home and it’s enough for two so I was wondering if…” He trails off, eyes searching Baekhyun’s face for something. “Maybe I could collect on that promise?”

“I -” Baekhyun shouldn’t. He knows he shouldn’t. But Jongdae’s looking at him with disarmingly soft eyes, head tilting at the just the right angle and lips pouting. He shouldn’t. He knows he shouldn’t.

But he can’t help it.

“Okay,” As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Baekhyun sighs. _This is how the hitman dies. How perfectly ironic._ After all these years, it seems no one taught him how to avoid the charms of a murdering psychopath. “I’ll see you in ten minutes?”

At least now he can try to find something to protect himself...or kill the other if it comes to it... _if_ Jongdae does choose to attack him.

Since when has Baekhyun been this impulsive? Reckless?

Is this how Jongdae kills all his victims?

No fucking wonder they’re all dead.

“Sure!” Jongdae’s smiling is disgustingly blinding for the evil it hides behind it. Baekhyun wants to puke for the mess he’s gotten himself into. “I’ll see you then.”

Jongdae bounces back into his flat, and Baekhyun shuts his own door, leaning back against it. Then taking a deep breath, he heads straight to his bedroom where he keeps an extra set of knives specially for his hits. Shoving it into his pocket, he gets to his feet.

Baekhyun’s not completely an idiot. That knife is all he needs. Jongdae may be an expert murderer or whatever, but this is his job. No one knows how to kill better than he does.

He refuses to be the one to die tonight, if someone must die.

Two minutes later, he rings Jongdae’s doorbell. A distinct smell of chicken wafts through the doorway when it opens, and Baekhyun wonders if he really is here for dinner.

“You’re here,” Jongdae grins, pulling him in by the arm. The touch on his forearm is electric and unusual; Jongdae's fingers are oddly soft. Baekhyun doesn’t think he’s let anyone do that in years. “I have chicken and rice, is that okay?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s great,” He nods, slipping off his shoes in the doorway and following after the other. The inside of Jongdae’s house is nearly a hundred times better decorated than Baekhyun’s house. The walls in the corridor have some kind of textured effect of brown and gold. It’s a fascinating design, and Baekhyun brushes his hands lightly over the wall.

Jongdae peers around the corridor as he realises he left Baekhyun back in the corridor, “Hey, everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun rushes to catch up to the other, still looking around. The corridor has no weapons that Baekhyun can use for protection, except for maybe the frame of the painting of a waterfall at the end of the hallway and the glass from the clock cover.

Jongdae’s house has the same layout as his does, with three rooms before the living room, but there’s a strong scent coming from behind one of the doors that he can’t quite place his finger on. It’s not a chemical he uses regularly to kill, anyway, otherwise he would’ve gotten it instantly.

They pass three rooms into the living room, and Baekhyun is surprised by how different it looks to his white walls and black leather furniture. This room is almost like it is coffee-themed - whites, browns and yellows and blacks melted into the background.

“Your interior is very well done,” Baekhyun informs him awed. Jongdae shoots him a look over his shoulder like he said the right thing, “Thank you.”

A dining table is waiting for them near the kitchen, all black-marble counter-tops. Food is already waiting for them there. Jongdae gestures to the seat across his, “Have a seat, Baekhyun, make yourself comfortable.”

As Baekhyun takes his seat, he glances around the room again. There’s at least twenty three different ways he could make Jongdae’s death look like an accident.

Jongdae rises to his feet, and walks over to the fridge, “Beer?”

Absolutely not. That would be a ridiculous thing to do.

“No,” Baekhyun refuses, pretending to be sheepish. “I’m a lightweight.”

“Aw, but what’s to fear?” Jongdae’s smirk is dangerous. “It’s just me.”

“And you’re a stranger,” Baekhyun retorts, and waits for Jongdae’s response. Jongdae raises an eyebrow and returns to the table, placing a can of beer in front of himself and popping it open. And then he raises his eyes to meet Baekhyun’s, “And yet, you’re in the house of one.”

“This was your idea,” Baekhyun’s eyebrows have both raised, but he feels unsettled again. Jongdae’s eyes are always scanning his face for something, tracing the shapes and shadows. He always feels like he’s been figured out.

“Because I want to get to know you better,” A pretty smile breaks out on Jongdae’s face. “You may be a stranger to me too - but I can’t deny you’re cute. And I’d like you to get to know me too, if you want.”

“I - ” Baekhyun’s taken aback, but Jongdae interrupts him, “Do you want to get to know me?”

Baekhyun can’t take the intensity with which Jongdae looks at him. The words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop himself, “Who are you?”

“Who am I, Baekhyun?” Jongdae echoes, and it feels like he’s playing with him. “Who do you think I am?”

And Baekhyun needs to know. He’ll handle the consequences. “A murderer?”

There’s a deadly pause.

And then Jongdae opens his mouth.

“...Are you serious?” Jongdae’s looking genuinely confused. Baekhyun’s still got his serious face on and Jongdae’s jaw drops, “Oh my god, you’re actually serious.”

Wait.

“What?”

“That’s what I should be asking you!” Jongdae sits back in his chair, a disbelieving yet amused grin on his face, “What are you talking about?”

Baekhyun narrows his eyes. This could all be an act, for all Baekhyun knows.

“Did I or did I not see you leaving your house at night about two weeks ago with blood on your hands?” Baekhyun demands, consequences be damned. His hand slips into the pocket with his knife. Who’s Jongdae trying to fool?

Jongdae exhales.

When he looks up again, his eyes are bright.

“Come with me Baekhyun,” He tells Baekhyun. Seeing that Baekhyun doesn’t budge one inch, Jongdae shakes his head, “Come on! I promised I wouldn’t kill you, remember?”

Right. And he’s supposed to believe that.

Well, he can protect himself...but what if he’s walking into a trap?

Baekhyun ensures to stand right behind Jongdae, hand still on his knife, as he follows him. Jongdae is leading him straight to the room where there was an odd stench and Baekhyun’s danger radar is at his highest.

Jongdae pushes the door open, and lo and behold, Baekhyun is left dumbfounded. Inside, the wall right across the doorway has been painted a deep red...similar to that of the blood Baekhyun had seen, days ago. The other two walls are also bright colours, and there are painting easels of in a circle around the room facing inwards. A massive multi-shelved cupboard is along one side of the room, aisles of paints and brushes resting on them. In the corner of the room, there is that duffel bag that he saw days ago, zip open to reveal spray paint cans and that stained cloth - now that he saw the whole thing and not just the bit poking out of the bag, there were other colours on it too.

“That ‘blood’ that you say you saw was from me painting this wall,” Jongdae says, pointing his thumb towards the wall.

Baekhyun doesn’t know what to say in the light of this discovery.

“I’m not a murderer, Baekhyun, even if I am a bit crazy and depressed,” Jongdae grins like he’s heard the joke of the century. “I’m a _painter_.”

Ah. Now that he thinks back, knowing that Jongdae is a painter explains some things.

“I see,” Baekhyun says awkwardly. “Sorry.”

“No problem,” Jongdae chuckles. As he shuts the door again, Baekhyun turns to that painting on the wall again and wants to face-palm seeing the signature at the corner that literally says ‘KJD’. Jongdae’s looking at him again, teasing, “I can’t believe you agreed to having dinner with me despite thinking I was murderer!”

“Oh hush,” Baekhyun makes an embarrassed face, and feels it completely too. He doesn’t know how he could have been so wrong.

_Him._

“Well, Mr. Byun Baekhyun, I reassure you I am a painter. Now would you like to join me for dinner?” Jongdae’s smirk is in place, and it’s attractive. He winks, “Now that you know I won't kill you!”

He grabs Baekhyun’s hand and pulls him to the dining table without another word, pushing him back down into his seat. And then he asks as he’s serving Baekhyun, “So. Who are _you_ , Baekhyun?”

Ah.

This was the real question.

How could he ever tell Jongdae, then?

Jongdae’s smile is still blinding, eyes still haunting. But now he knows it’s not because he’s a murderer, but because he’s a painter.

“I’m not much, honestly,” He hears himself respond, feels himself grin. “I’m just your everyday software engineer.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Baekhyun's kinda an idiot, if you couldn't tell. It's all in his head.
> 
> Even then, I hope you all enjoyed this one!
> 
> Until then,  
> Miche xx


	5. Between Memories and Unspoken Sentiments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten years is a long time to pass - and yet, they both haven't been able to forget each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys~~
> 
> As always, thanks for all the love. This time round, my fic was inspired by a high school drama I watched, where the two main characters don't get together because of having to separate, despite them clearly liking each other. Luckily that drama ended on a very open-ended note, so there's still hope. 
> 
> Nevertheless, I was inspired to write this fic because I realized that we find love in the simplest and smallest things - the big, dramatic gestures are always nice, but it's these small gestures that we don't realize hit us in the biggest ways.
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I liked writing it. It's a bit different to my usual writing style, so it was lots of fun.
> 
> Love, Miche xx

 

_[High School Reunion AU]_

 

_August, 2020_

 

Jongdae stares at the email sitting in his inbox for god knows how long. It’s been years since he’s received a mail by this email address, but he remembers it like the back of his hand.

 _Kim Junmyeon_ , he thinks, and remembers a teenager bordering on adult, wise beyond his years. He remembers the other’s excellent speech as the elected class representative and the bad jokes he’d cracked during it.

He remembers the promise he’d made on the podium during the graduation ceremony ten years ago - _“My final promise as the representative to this graduating class: I’ll make sure all of us get back together for our reunion ten years down the line.”_

Hopeful words at a hopeful age.

Now all Jongdae wants to do is not go.

High school leaves a bittersweet taste in his mouth. In retrospect, it had always felt like Jongdae couldn’t have gotten into high school fast enough, but couldn’t leave it fast enough either. The shine had worn off far too quickly for him.

He’d had a select group of friends, and he stayed with them - but Jongdae never felt like he truly fit in outside that group. Most of his free classes he’d spend on his own in an alcove, reading or writing.

Being in high school was suffocating, like the same shades on a palate creating a color scheme that never seemed to change.

It had suffocated him.

But high school had given him one thing - his writing. It cemented his love for it, pushed him through the days that dragged on. Now he sits in his house, writer of five best-selling, award-winning novels and at a good place in his life.

He’ll admit, he’s reluctant to meet anyone from high school. He hasn’t maintained contact with anyone, not even those that were his friends. Jongdae had moved out of the city and onto university and so had the others. Relationships are hard to maintain when you don’t meet regularly, talk regularly.

“You’ve been staring at your phone for ten minutes now, Jongdae,” Kyungsoo calls from across the dining table where they’re both working on a new stories. “Is everything okay?”

Do Kyungsoo is his best friend from university, a Literature graduate and a fellow writer. Jongdae hasn’t told him much about his high school life because there isn’t much to mention, but now seeing his concerned eyes, Jongdae wonders if he should ask him for his opinion on what to do.

“Jongdae?” Kyungsoo prompts again, hands paused in their movements over the keyboard of his laptop. Even though this is Jongdae’s house, Kyungsoo claims to work better here, and Jongdae doesn’t mind; it’s not like the other is ever noisy.

Jongdae sighs, locking his phone, “It’s nothing.”

There’s still fifteen days to decide what he wants to do.

 

* * *

 

_December 2008_

 

“What do you want, Sehun?” Jongdae sighs as the other sits down at his table. Jongdae’s about to finish another chapter of his story, but the arrival of Sehun meant that not another word was going to be read.

His mood’s already started to descend.

It’s not that he hates the other. But Sehun knows very well what ticks everyone off and uses it to his advantage, getting others to do his work. He’s not manipulative...just used to making his own life easier. Jongdae could easily refuse, but he doesn’t need Sehun annoying him for the rest of the day.

“Jongdae,” Sehun’s already grinning like he’s won and points his finger backwards at a pile of maybe twenty five to thirty large books. “Help me carry this stack of books to the band room?”

“The band room?”

“They’re all music books and the band wants to use them for reference...or something,” Sehun shrugs. “Either way, prof asked me to move the most important ones there.”

Jongdae eyes the pile and then Sehun’s lanky arms.

Sehun isn’t very strong, Jongdae knows this pretty well. He might as well help since he knows Sehun’s not about to stop whining if he doesn’t.

“Okay let’s go,” Jongdae stands up and picks up most of the books in his arms, looking pointedly at Sehun to grab the others. Smartly, Sehun grabs the remaining seven books and they’re off to the band room.

The band room on the second floor of the school building is what you expect it to be like. The room is brimming with instruments of different kinds, a chill out-area in the back corner with some bean-bags and even a raised dais for the conductor maybe?

Jongdae isn’t a band student and doesn’t care much honestly.

Sehun points him in the direction of the large bookcase that is in the chill out area, and just as Jongdae puts the books on the floor in of it, Sehun pushes the books in his own hands into Jongdae’s, “Here you go! You have to arrange them alphabetically on to the shelves, okay? Thanks!”

Jongdae is frozen as he realises what has just happened, and once his brain catches up, he wishes he’d grabbed Sehun by the collar and pummeled him for being a little shit. He really wants to just ditch the books there on the floor...but he also respects books way too much for that.

And so Jongdae sets about arranging the books on the bookcase. He first sections them off into alphabetical groups, all As together, Bs and so on. And then his arranging within the groups begins and at some point he wonders why he’s putting in so much effort.

“Here I’ll help,” A voice comes from behind him, and the J pile is picked up from next to him just as Jongdae is shelving the I books. Jongdae looks over his shoulder to find his classmate Byun Baekhyun, popular student and singing prodigy standing behind him, now alphabetically arranging the J books.

“Thanks,” Jongdae doesn’t say a word against the assistance. He doesn’t speak to the other, not really - in fact, Jongdae doesn’t even remember having a proper conversation with him before. But if the other wants to do the job, he’ll gladly delegate.

They set into a pretty steady rhythm - Jongdae shelving and Baekhyun arranging. When they hit Q, Baekhyun asks him, “So...what are you doing here anyway? You’re not in the band.”

Jongdae is overwhelmed with the urge to ask him why he knows that when he’s not in the band either, but instead offers, “Forced labour by a friend. Sehun is a little shit.”

“Truer words have never been spoken,” Baekhyun grins, teeth perfect, and Jongdae can see why so many girls in their grade have a thing for him. “Though I didn’t think you were the type to fall for Sehun’s antics.”

“Is anyone safe from his antics though?” Jongdae shakes his head ruefully, taking the offered pile from Baekhyun. “Why are you here?”

“I happened to see you working out here alone - speaking of, why do I always see you working alone?” Baekhyun looks genuinely curiously, if not put out.

“Do you always ask so many questions?” Jongdae asks, unintentionally teasing, but when he turns to apologize to the other for sounding rude, Baekhyun’s answering grin is imprinted in Jongdae’s mind.

 

* * *

 

_August 2020_

 

“Do you think the company will even let you go?” Jongin asked him, eyebrows raised high. “You should probably get that confirmed first.”

“They must be crazy if they think I’m gonna miss my high school reunion,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes, grin in place.

The group is in their down-time period. They aren’t working on anything for at least another month, and they’d just had a comeback. This rest period is usually when they disappear off the face of the planet to the fans and become themselves. The company can’t stop him even if they try.

“Anyone wanna come with me?” Baekhyun then asks. “I’ll show you guys around my high school.”

He knows Minseok hyung is leaving to return home for the rest of the month, so he won’t be around. It’s the same for Jongin, who he knows misses his family too. Lay hyung has already flown back to China for a break.

“Yeah, I’ll come with you,” Chanyeol puts in from across the couch. “My family isn’t around this break - they’re on a trip too, so I might as well.”

“Great!” Baekhyun claps once, and Jongin chuckles, “You’re pretty excited about this hyung.”

“It’ll be nice to see everyone after so long,” Baekhyun exhales slowly. A particular face comes to mind, but he doesn’t say a word about it. Instead, he sends a reply to Junmyeon saying he’ll be there, with a guest.

 

* * *

 

_February 2009_

 

“Alright, tell me who you all want to partner up with for this project,” Their professor says. “I need to note down the pairs.”

“Jongdae and I!” Baekhyun raises his hand, and feels all eyes on him.

Baekhyun grins unbothered, but turns his gaze to meet Jongdae’s surprised expression. Baekhyun sends him a wink. He knows regularly the other would have partnered with Luhan or Sehun, but their professor is already writing down the names.

The class shuffles so that the pairs are sitting together, and Jongdae makes his way over to Baekhyun’s desk near the front left.

“Why’d you pair up with me?” Jongdae asks. He sounds confused, and his head tilts cutely. But Baekhyun always thinks Jongdae’s cute. He’d try to pair up with Jongdae for every project if the teachers gave him a choice.

“We work well together,” Baekhyun tells him instead, smiling. “Remember the band room?”

Jongdae smiles back and doesn’t say another word.

 

* * *

 

_August 2020_

 

The follow-up email tells him most of the class is going - the list of people who are is even made and sent like it’s supposed to be a motivation for him to want to go.

Jongdae’s eyes trail down the list and stop at the third-last name.

Byun Baekhyun.

The name still has the same effect on him as it did years ago. A pleasant tingle down his spine, the flash of a pretty smile in his mind, and the overwhelming feeling of comfort.

They’re feelings he can’t face. Not after ten years, when Jongdae should have moved on. Not after ten years, when his feelings have no feet to stand on when he hasn’t even spoken to the other.

Ten years is a long time for a person to change.

He’d had the liberty to see the other grow on television - Baekhyun was a more than successful idol. Baekhyun...he’d grown so much. Jongdae was proud of him, even though he turned the screen off every time the other appeared on it.

But the other was living in a world different to his. He’d always had.

Jongdae’s feelings are still misplaced.

 

* * *

 

_March 2009_

 

Jongdae’s sitting at the cafeteria table with Sehun and Luhan. He’s listening to Sehun complain about how little the cafeteria serves them.

“Complain to Junmyeon then,” Luhan is grinning. His voice is amused as always, “He may be able to do something about it.”

“Sure,” Sehun drawls and then lays his head on Luhan’s shoulder. “You know I don’t trust authority figures.”

“Come on Sehun,” Jongdae shakes his head at the pouting boy. “It’s just a few sushi rolls. Here, have mine.”

He puts his two rolls into Sehun’s plate. He’s already had one; he doesn’t need any more.

“Dae, what - ” Sehun sits straight, looking ready to complain, because he’s not actually that much of a shit, when Baekhyun slips into the seat next to Jongdae, smiling brightly like the sun he is.

And without pausing for a second, he picks up his chopsticks and puts the three rolls in his plate into Jongdae’s, and then proceeds to eat.

Jongdae’s jaw drops and he stares at the other.

“What?” Baekhyun asks when he takes a break from his eating. The tips of his ears have turned red, but he meets Jongdae’s gaze. “I know you like them.”

Jongdae opens his mouth to protest, but Baekhyun’s gaze is gentle, yet determined, “Just take it. I don’t like them much anyway, I’d rather you have them.”

But Jongdae knows Baekhyun is lying because he’d heard the other chattering excitedly about sushi rolls on the way to the cafeteria earlier.

“I don’t need this many,” Jongdae returns, voice soft. He’s touched. “Share it with me?”

Baekhyun’s smile could light a thousand worlds.

 

* * *

 

_August 2020_

 

Baekhyun also receives the follow-up email. He can’t deny he’s disappointed to see that Jongdae hasn’t yet said he’s going to be there too.

He knows what Jongdae’s been up to. Baekhyun’s read every single one of his five novels; he keeps them treasured on a shelf, takes them with him on his travels during tours.

The rest of EXO think it’s only because Jongdae’s his favourite writer.

It’s true, but it’s not the whole truth.

Jongdae’s also his first love, the one that got away without ever having been his, the one Baekhyun can’t let go of still.

Jongdae is the reason none of Baekhyun’s other relationships have worked out in the end.

Baekhyun’s tears have soaked in between the letters of the words Jongdae writes in his books, between the characters who sob for their tragic love, between the thoughts of what could have been and what is.

The pages and lyrics of his song book cry in tandem.

 

* * *

 

_July 2009_

 

Baekhyun stands in atrium of the school, waiting for Yifan, when he looks up to the first floor window. It’s a library window, but he’s not surprised to see Jongdae behind it. His hair is in that side-swept fringe that Baekhyun likes so much, nearly curling into his eyes. His back is curved in a tired position, but Baekhyun can see even from here that the other’s eyes are bright.

He’s predictably writing something.

Writing is the other’s passion, Baekhyun knows this. The other has books filled with stories no one has dared to touch, seen before.

He hopes one day Jongdae will share it with the world - share it with him.

Just like he wishes to dedicate some songs to the other.

“Baekhyun!” Yifan’s voice is loud in his ear as the other barrels into him, body heavy and all, and throws his arm over Baekhyun’s shoulder. “What are you doing here? Let’s go!”

He casts another glance upwards, and blinks when he thinks Jongdae is looking back out of the window.

Baekhyun looks back down, hides his smile, and then Yifan is dragging him away.

 

* * *

 

_August 2020_

 

“So, why don’t you wanna go?” Kyungsoo asks him over dinner. He has Jongdae’s phone in his hands and he holds it open on his emails. “I didn’t mean to sneak, you just left it open when you let me call from your phone.”

Jongdae hasn’t got a remark to that, and instead mumbles, “I just - don’t want to.”

“Is there someone you’re avoiding?” Kyungsoo, ever to the point.

“What?” Jongdae sputters. Kyungsoo knows him too well. “No - don’t be ridiculous! Why would you - ”

“So who is it? Ex-boyfriend? Ex-girlfriend? The council president?” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. But then his voice softens, “An ex-bully?”

“Shut up,” Jongdae sinks into his chair, picking at his food. “Why are you so smart?”

“Jongdae.”

“We never dated,” Jongdae’s voice is small. “I - it’s just awkward, okay?”

“Who is it, Dae?” Kyungsoo, no matter how demanding or stern, always has Jongdae’s best interest at heart. “An old friend?”

“Yeah, we were friends,” Jongdae nods, can’t help the tone of his voice. “Baekhyun and I - we were just friends.”

 

* * *

 

_October 2009_

 

Jongdae loves Halloween. He’s always thought of it as stories coming to life.

But standing here, near the punch bar, he’s gotten another reason to love Halloween.

Baekhyun is standing up on the stage, one of the performers for the night. He was born to be on the stage - head thrown back as he sways to the music, hair ruffled and charming grin on his face. Cheers are erupting in the crowd and Baekhyun’s energy is contagious, and Jongdae finds himself swaying along even though he’s not a dancer.

Jongdae doesn’t remember a single time in the last two years that Baekhyun has given such a bright performance - but he remembers the promise he’d made in the cafeteria the previous day: ‘It’s our last Halloween in school! We gotta make it memorable!’

And memorable it is.

Luhan taps Jongdae on the shoulder and sends him a knowing look, “Dude, you’re staring.”

Up on stage, Baekhyun’s eyes meet Jongdae’s and he sends Jongdae a quick, playful wink. Jongdae is left speechless.

Luhan’s voice does nothing to hide his glee, “Guess you were right to stare.”

 

* * *

 

_August 2020_

 

Seeing Jongdae’s name on the attendance list may or may not have induced some butterflies in Baekhyun’s stomach.

But like Baekhyun himself, Jongdae seems to be bringing a guest as well. The information about Baekhyun’s guest has been kept on the down-low; Baekhyun and Chanyeol are idols, and if the information leaks it would be dangerous, so Junmyeon hasn’t mentioned his guest on the list.

The fact that Jongdae was bringing a guest though was unabashedly staring back at Baekhyun on his tablet screen.

And even though he knows he probably shouldn’t, he goes on a spree to find out about Jongdae’s dating life, pulling up the internet to hit a search about Jongdae’s relationship status.

And whilst it seems Jongdae is single, Baekhyun gets caught in the middle of this investigation by the maknae.

“Kim Jongdae?” Jongin appears suddenly, reading over his shoulder. “Isn’t that the author of the books you keep reading? Why are you trying to find out if he’s single?”

“Uh…” Baekhyun’s not sure how to dig himself out of the hole he’s made.

The tablet is snatched out of his hands, and before he can protest, it is now in Chanyeol’s, held high above where Baekhyun can reach it.

“Baekhyun,” His grin is teasing. “I didn’t think you were a sasaeng fan about your favourite author!”

“Shut up, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “And give me that back.”

Baekhyun tries to take it back, but Chanyeol’s already investigating on his own - and now he’s managed to open his emails. And then Chanyeol stiffens as he reads the list, hands automatically lowering the tablet - “Hold on, is this the same - ”

“Yes,” Baekhyun hisses and takes it back. He wants to be angry, but Chanyeol was bound to find out...if not now, then at the reunion. “And he is my friend.”

“Wait, so then have you been following his books because you’re his friend or because - ”

“Jongdae is a _brilliant_ writer, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun’s voice leaves no room for argument. “Don’t bring up anything weird if we meet him at the reunion. _Please_.”

“This runs much deeper than just friends, doesn’t it?” Chanyeol’s voice leaves no room for argument either.

It’s a statement, not a question.

 

* * *

 

_December 2009_

 

Baekhyun falls sick as the snow falls outside his window. Christmas has passed, and New Years is just a few days away.

But Baekhyun’s lying in his bed, cursing his decision to have ice-cream in the cold.

A doorbell rings downstairs, and Baekhyun ignores it in favour of curling up into his pillow. Two minutes later however, the doorknob is slowly turning like the person outside doesn’t want to wake him if he’s asleep.

“Come in,” He croaks, and the door opens much faster at that. Baekhyun’s stunned to find Jongdae on the other side, whose learned to let himself into the house at this point, looking like a winter angel in his muffler and winter-themed hat with a fuzz ball at the top. He’s cute.

He’s always cute.

“Aw,” He pouts seeing Baekhyun’s sorry state and Baekhyun immediately raises his arms, reaching out to the other in a demand of sympathy. “Look at you, you big baby.”

Jongdae sits down on the edge of the bed. Baekhyun wishes he could cuddle with the other, but he knows where the lines are drawn. So he only takes Jongdae’s hands in his and looks away to sneeze.

He hears Jongdae sigh, and then there’s some rustling as Jongdae pulls out a lunch box from a bag Baekhyun just notices. “Here, I brought some soup. My mom makes it for me, so I thought I’d give it a shot. I don’t know how good it’ll taste but...yeah.”

“You didn’t have to,” Baekhyun sits up in surprise. “My mom would’ve made some for me.”

“Baekhyun, you wouldn’t have texted me your mom was going to be home late if you didn’t want me to come over,” Jongdae rolls his eyes amused but fond. “Now shut up and take the damn soup.”

“That’s not true,” Baekhyun tells him, eyes stealing a glance at Jongdae’s face. The other is watching him carefully as he takes a sip. “I’d text you whether or not my mom’s around. I like spending time with you.”

“So do I, Baekhyunnie,” Jongdae grins and then quickly looks down at the floor. Baekhyun thinks Shy Jongdae is the cutest Jongdae. “But talk later, drink first.”

“Yes, sir.”

 

* * *

 

_August 2020_

 

“You did what?!” Jongdae screams. “Kyungsoo, I trusted you!”

“So trust me when I say everything will be fine,” Kyungsoo shrugs. “I’m not going to let you let go of this chance, you geezer.”

“Really?” Jongdae stares at him unimpressed. “That the best you can do?”

“Don’t get me started on what you can and can’t do,” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “You couldn’t even send a damn ‘I’ll be there’ even though you and I both know that deep down the thing you want most is to see Byun Baekhyun’s damn face.”

“That doesn’t mean you should send it for me?!”

“Jongdae, you’re not going alone,” Kyungsoo sighs. “I’ll be there with you, and if you feel like you ever need to get out of there, we will. Okay? Trust me on this one thing.”

Jongdae really wants to beat up Kyungsoo. He understands the good intention behind it though...and Jongdae can’t deny the fact that he does want to see Baekhyun one last time, if only to close that chapter of his life or permanently remain stuck there for the rest of his life.

“Fine,” Jongdae relents. “Only because you’re my getaway driver.”

Kyungsoo’s hand on his shoulder is warm and comforting, his smile like he understands, “Sure.”

 

* * *

 

_January 2010_

 

Baekhyun comes to him first when he finds out. Baekhyun and Jongdae have gravitated towards one another over the past year; it’s only right that Baekhyun tells him.

They are best friends after all.

Two days after New Years, Baekhyun tells Jongdae that he was called for an audition in a massive entertainment company - one where you dream of getting contracted to be an idol. Someone had uploaded his performance from back during Halloween onto a social media site, and the post had ultimately reached someone in the company. They tracked down the singer, and lo and behold, they finally found him.

But Baekhyun tells Jongdae only after he gives the audition.

He was accepted into the company.

They’re willing to make him a trainee immediately.

“So what are you gonna do?” Jongdae asks him as they sit under a tree. The January air nips at his cheeks, but it’s not the reason why he’s cold, it’s not the reason why his fingers have gone numb.

Baekhyun’s face is a mixture of happiness and sadness as he tells him, “My parents spoke to the company. They’re willing to let me be a trainee after I finish high school. So once high school’s over, I’ll be moving to Seoul to train. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime, Jongdae, I could become an idol!”

Jongdae's truly happy for him. Baekhyun’s happiness makes him happy. But.

Baekhyun’s hand slips in his, “I’ll miss being here though.”

Jongdae hears the ‘I’ll miss you’ and knows that it is the reason why Baekhyun is holding back. But he’s not going to let Baekhyun get in the way of his own dreams, and Jongdae’s not going to be the reason why either.

“Baekhyunnie,” Jongdae turns to him, cups Baekhyun’s cheeks in his hands. “I’m so proud of you. But you have to do this without holding back, okay? We’ll always be friends, and nothing here is going to change. Go to Seoul and live your dreams. You were born to be an idol, and I expect nothing less from you.”

Jongdae knows that today he has drawn a line between them that they cannot dare to cross.

Baekhyun’s smile doesn’t change, but there are tears in his eyes as he pulls Jongdae into a hug, “Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

_August 2020_

 

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol’s voice is low. He’s been crying for the past half an hour. Chanyeol’s always had his heart on his sleeve, always giving his emotions out on a platter to share. “Why didn’t you keep in touch with him, you dumbass?”

“Chanyeol, I just told you,” Baekhyun runs a hand through the other’s hair in comfort although his heart hurts infinite times more. “It wasn’t that easy. We both got really busy, really quickly. And then texts got shorter and shorter...And then we debuted. Our numbers and everything changed after that. We also had a dating ban, remember?”

“That has nothing to do with you not keeping in touch with him,” Chanyeol’s eyes are red. “Baekhyun. You both clearly loved each other.”

Baekhyun’s smile is wistful, regretful, “I know. But the time wasn’t right.”

“The time is never right,” Chanyeol’s words are straightforward. “You have to make it right.”

 

* * *

 

_February 2010_

 

Jongdae tells him one Saturday morning in the park. Their final exams are approaching in the next month, and everyone’s rushing around for college programs.

Baekhyun doesn’t have to worry about that anymore, at least. His moving date has been fixed for after the exams.

Since he’s told Jongdae, the two have been spending time together as much as possible. But the moments feel tense, when they aren’t, shouldn’t be; they both know that the hourglass is running out of sand, and it makes it all the more harder to breathe.

“I’m applying to a college in the US,” Jongdae tells him. There’s no smile on his face, just acceptance. “My parents want me to get my degree there.”

Baekhyun wonders if this was how Jongdae had felt when he’d told him he’d be going. That sudden fear that engulfs you when you think about the future and the idea that someone may leave your side.

“I don’t know if I’ll even be accepted yet,” Jongdae reminds him softly. But Baekhyun...Baekhyun realises that he can’t be selfish. This is what Jongdae’s dream entails. Jongdae wants to be a writer as much as Baekhyun wants to be a singer.

And the other had supported him when it had come down to it. Who was he to stop him?

He wants the best for Jongdae too.

“You have to do it,” He tells Jongdae, and imagines him sitting at a table one day, signing novels. “Jongdae, this is your chance. You could become a great writer!”

Jongdae’s still looking down at his hands, and Baekhyun puts his on top of Jongdae’s hands. A strange feeling is churning in Baekhyun’s gut. “Don’t be scared. I know you can do it. And we’ll always support each other, no matter what. No matter how far away from each other we are.”

“I know,” Jongdae’s smile is as bittersweet as he feels.

Jongdae receives his acceptance letter five days after the final exams end.

Baekhyun leaves two days later.

 

* * *

 

_August 2020_

 

It’s odd to be back in his old hometown. Jongdae moved to Seoul after his university graduation and hasn’t looked back.

Nothing looks like it’s changed, except the people are different. Jongdae passes by the school on the drive to the restaurant, and it’s the same. The uniforms are different, as to be expected the very least.

“It’s got a similar feel to my hometown,” Kyungsoo reveals. “Just less harbours.”

The restaurant isn’t very far from the school, probably because Junmyeon had said something about visiting the school later at night.

Junmyeon as one would expect, is already in the restaurant, along with a few other classmates he remembers vaguely. Everyone looks different, and Jongdae is finally hit by how much has changed. Ten years have passed, but this is the tangible product of those ten years.

“Kim Jongdae,” Junmyeon’s voice booms across the long table that’s been put together. He’s gotten a tinge taller, hair a light brown. Jongdae knows that Junmyeon is now the CEO of a candy company he started a few years back. “It’s good to see you! You don’t look a day over twenty three!”

“I see you haven’t changed, Junmyeon,” Jongdae’s grin slips on his face without trying. “And neither have your jokes.”

“Funny,” Junmyeon laughs, but pulls him into a hug. After pulling away, he turns to Jongdae’s guest. “And you must be Jongdae’s plus one.”

“This is Do Kyungsoo,” Jongdae introduces. “He’s my best friend. We met in university.” Kyungsoo bows in greeting, and Junmyeon introduces himself as the president of the batch.

He tells them to take a seat, and soon Jongdae is reacquainting himself with his old classmates, and introducing them to Kyungsoo. Luhan and Sehun are both already there, and they attack him with hugs too. Baekhyun is nowhere in sight, and it’s both a relief and a cause of nerves for him.

But it seems he spoke too early, because as Jongdae is talking to Luhan about upcoming projects, Junmyeon calls out, “Byun Baekhyun!”

 

* * *

 

_March 2010_

 

“Byun Baekhyun!” Jongdae yells from the entrance to the roof. “Get away from that damn edge!”

“You just want to yell, Dae!” Baekhyun shouts back but steps back from the railing on the school roof. He’s mumbling, “I’m scared of heights anyway.”

“We’re done with school, what are you doing here?” Baekhyun asks him when he’s closer, and Jongdae raises an eyebrow, “I could ask you the same, can’t I?”

“Touché,” He shrugs and then fall silent. He lies down on the floor, staring up at the light blue sky. Jongdae goes to lie down on his left.

Despite what others may think, silence isn’t a bad thing with Baekhyun. Jongdae’s seen him on days when Baekhyun only smiles things off, preferring the sound of the rain outside the window and on the pavement, when he doesn’t want to break the peace. He knows the importance of silence.

“What are you thinking?” Jongdae asks, because even if he knows, he wants to hear Baekhyun say it.

It’s what they both have been afraid to say - but now the hourglass is empty, and the choices they had are slipping through their fingers.

“It’s not going to be easy, is it?” Baekhyun’s right arm is over his own eyes now.

“Of course not,” Jongdae’s looking up at the sky, calm, peaceful. “That’s why it’s worth it, Hyun-ah.”

“I’m afraid we won’t be friends, Jongdae,” Baekhyun admits finally, voice quiet.

“Even if we aren’t friends,” Jongdae answers equally softly. “Even if we aren’t talking, no matter at what point we’re in life then, I promise that the next time we see each other, I’ll give you a hug.”

Baekhyun’s left hand finds Jongdae’s.

They don’t speak of this conversation for the days that they have left together.

 

* * *

 

_August 2020_

 

Baekhyun sees Jongdae before the other sees him. He looks as beautiful as he does in his memories, just older and wiser. Matured. Time has been kind to Jongdae. If he could encapsulate this moment he would.

But Junmyeon’s shout is enough to bring the attention of the world to him, and he pretends as if he hasn’t seen Jongdae as he rushes to greet the other.

He introduces Chanyeol, watches out of the corner of his eyes how Jongdae never stops looking at him. He greets his other classmates, and then... _finally_.

After so many years, he finds himself face to face with Kim Jongdae.

Jongdae’s eyes are stormy, conflicted. Baekhyun knows that the memories are rushing through both their minds, and he knows that’s what is making both of them hesitate.

But Baekhyun wants to reach out to touch the other. He can’t believe he’s seeing the other in the flesh after so long. His heart is singing as loudly as it did back when they were eighteen and life wanted to keep them apart.

He’s so close...but Baekhyun also knows that they’re strangers in familiar skins. He knows it would be wrong to -

Jongdae steps forward in that moment. His smile appears and - it’s the same smile, worn by age, but as striking as the first time he’d seen it. And without another second of hesitation, Jongdae’s arms slips around Baekhyun’s waist.

Jongdae’s still nearly the same height as Baekhyun. His body is warm, arms tight around his waist. Jongdae still smells like a fresh summer’s breeze. He remembers the echo of a promise made between walls that held their memories locked. There’s the familiar tingle that runs down his spine, but more so an overwhelming sense of relief that floods him.

Baekhyun’s eyes tear as his heart thrums.

It’s like coming home.

 

* * *

 

_September 2010_

 

This is what he was fearing the most.

The decreasing duration of calls, the shorter text messages, the lack of energy - until it finally stops.

Baekhyun knows that they are victims of their circumstances. Jongdae is in an altogether different time zone, hours behind him. They are barely awake at the same times, not that that would be enough. Their schedules never match - Baekhyun has training, Jongdae has his classes.

In this race against time, both Jongdae and Baekhyun have failed - and they’ve failed each other too.

They’ve disconnected.

 

* * *

 

_August 2020_

 

They find themselves on the rooftop again. The rest of the class is downstairs doing god-knows-what. Neither find that they care much.

Baekhyun remembers seeing Chanyeol take Kyungsoo to the side earlier to chat, both strangers in this group. He knows what that smile and glimmer in Chanyeol’s eyes means - he’s taken by Kyungsoo’s quiet charm.

“How have you been?” Baekhyun breaks the silence as he looks over the edge of the railing. It’s still a high way up - but Baekhyun’s grown braver over the years. He’s no longer afraid of what-ifs.

“I’m alright,” Jongdae’s let out a tired laugh. His hand is close to Baekhyun’s body on the railing, “Careful.”

The corners of Baekhyun’s lips pull up, “You haven’t changed.”

“No, I haven’t,” Jongdae readily admits. He turns to lean his side on the railing. He looks Baekhyun up and down, from the red hair to the dress shoes, eyes twinkling, “But you have.”

“Not really,” Baekhyun lets out a sigh and then meets Jongdae’s eyes. “I still love you.”

The words are as easy as breathing. He’s waited ten years too long for this moment.

“Good,” Jongdae tilts his head, lips curling softly. He looks like he’s gained the world. “Good. Because I love you too.”

 _It’s always been this simple_ , Baekhyun thinks. In retrospect, Baekhyun’s always known that they’d loved each other.

Baekhyun’s hand finds Jongdae’s first, but Jongdae kisses him first.

They know they have a lot to talk about - but it doesn’t matter, because they have more than enough time in the world to make up for it. And now that they’ve held on, they refuse to let go.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for this one. This is quite possibly my favourite out of all of the ones I've written yet.
> 
> I hope you guys liked it!
> 
> Miche xx


End file.
